本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Suicides with Chinese Characteristics
In the past two years, suicides and homicides among the Chinese immigrants have become frequent news. Just a few days ago (July 22, 2006), Jiang Guobing, a highly educated man and a father of two, jumped from a bridge in the middle of the night and killed himself; Last December, a young girl named Ding Ding committed suicide, leaving a note telling others that the burdens in life were too hard to bear; 3 months ago, a man, shot himself to death after killing his wife and two children; less than 2 years ago, Geng Caohui, father of two young children, jumped from the 14th floor; 2 years ago, Chen Men, a visa student, killed a 9-year-old Cecilia Zhang… And all these happened in Toronto alone.
Why did they choose death?
Suicide is perhaps a universal phenomenon. It occurs, I believe, in every culture, for different reasons. Some people do it out of their religious belief. For example in 1997 in San Diego, 39 people, including their religious leader, committed a collective suicide, believing that it was something noble, glorious, an escape to true freedom. Others do it out of political reasons. For example in the Middle East, suicide bombers do it to revenge. For some, it is the depression, the anxiety, hopelessness, and even the fear of death, that cause them to choose suicide. Some take their lives because of the unbearable physical pain or incurable diseases… While all these reasons or causes could be applied to the above mentioned suicides among the Chinese new immigrants, there are other factors that might be very uniquely Chinese, that are decisive for such actions.
According the news, the main reason for Jiang Guobing’s suicide was that he could not find a job, or to be more exact, a job that he could apply his knowledge and expertise to, and that the burden of raising a family with such little income became too unbearable. The media used the same or similar reasons to explain the suicides mentioned above, but there is more to it than that. These causes or reasons are, in Ian Craib’s word, “the surface appearances” (p25, reading file).
Goal of education of the young
For thousands of years, the goal of education in Chinese history has been “to achieve a status to be above everyone; to be superior to all.” Students are frequently told that “From books come houses made of gold; from books come beauties.” “Everything is meaningless; education is above all” has been the maxim for almost all the students. I was talking on the phone with my father in China the other day. As usual, I asked how his grand children were doing at school. He told me the younger one was very smart, the top in the class, while the older one was doing very poorly. In my father’s word, “his brain is made of rocks”, so he was at the bottom of the class. In China, every student is ranked in the class in every school, so as to “glorify” the good and put to shame the bad. Such a sense of honor and shame, superiority and inferiority, is constantly instilled into the minds of the young. From very early age, students in China have to carry this heavy burden of struggling to be the best in their classes. Such lack of a normal childhood would eventually bring psychological problems to some. My 12 year-old nephew has to study, even during summer holidays, 6 hours everyday, in order to “compete”, in order not to bring shame to himself and his family. Chen men, a 20 year-old visa student from China who studied in Toronto, failed his exams and tests many times because of his poor English, faced the possibility of being deported back to China, could not handle such possibility and face the shame and the sense of failure, abducted and eventually killed the 9 year-old girl Cecilia Zhang, with the intention of using her to collect a ransom for the purpose of staying in Canada. According to TsingTao Daily, the most popular Chinese newspaper outside China, visa students from China are facing such pressure and depression, that many of them have to turn to drugs, violence, and suicide. No wonder one of the social workers, Cathy Dandy, urges the local government to offer these students counseling and other helps so that they would not go to the extemes (http://www.chilicity.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=9931
星岛日报).
Saving face
After Jiang Guobing’s death, reporters went to his birthplace to find out what kind person he was. Reporters were told that he was a role model, who received the highest marks for the National Entrance Exam in the whole province, that until the day of his suicide, teachers and parents used him as an example to teach children to follow. It was all the expectations people placed on Jiang that he struggled on, to receive 2 PhDs in North America, to continue to be a role model. Little did they realize it was such expectations that drove him to his death, when, after his repeated failure to find a job that he could “apply his knowledge and expertise to”. Before his suicide, though he was offered a few jobs in China by the most prestigious organizations, returning to China might have seemed to him that he was not able to succeed in Canada, and that would cause him to “lose face”. And losing face equals to losing life for many who are educated and brought up in such a culture.
Too high an expectation of oneself
Besides the high expectations others had of him, that gave him such burden, his own expectations of himself is also a factor. Being so successful all his life, being always the number one in everything, and highly admired and “worshipped” by others, he could no longer get used to being “average”, being just like everybody else. He expected, as he always did in the past, to be successful. When the gap between his expectations and the reality he had to face, that fragile yet very proud mentality finally took over.
Conclusion
Ian Craib says, “To understand an action properly is to understand forms of thinking, relationships between meanings in people’s head.” It seems so right and so easy to assume that the war in Iraq was caused by a dictator; or at the moment the war in Lebanon was caused by Hizbollah; or Jiang’s death was caused by his unemployment…
This is just the ignition, or the match that starts the fire. These are just the “surface appearances”. One needs to look beyond the surface, and dig further, hopefully to the root of things. In this case, the cultural soil in which one is brought up, the mindset, the physical/cultural environment he/she is in. One of the reasons for so many Chinese to decide to immigrate to Canada is that here, the expectations from others and self are not so many, and thus the pressure and burden of life is much lessened. Nearly every child from China loves to be in Canada, for this country allows them to grow and live the way a child should and need to. There is ranking in the class, no constant nagging from parents or teachers to be number one. When you are constantly so aware of your importance, of others’ expectations, and too strong an urge and desire to be better than everyone, and not allowing room for failure, you become fragile. To tackle the problem, we need to have the proper goal for our education, which is not just for our own goodness, but to benefit others, to contribute, to be useful to the public. Such a goal will take one out of his/her own small world, his/her own selfishness, and place him/herself into a wider community, to be part of the world. And to know we are equal, and thus we do not need to be better or superior to anyone.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
In the past two years, suicides and homicides among the Chinese immigrants have become frequent news. Just a few days ago (July 22, 2006), Jiang Guobing, a highly educated man and a father of two, jumped from a bridge in the middle of the night and killed himself; Last December, a young girl named Ding Ding committed suicide, leaving a note telling others that the burdens in life were too hard to bear; 3 months ago, a man, shot himself to death after killing his wife and two children; less than 2 years ago, Geng Caohui, father of two young children, jumped from the 14th floor; 2 years ago, Chen Men, a visa student, killed a 9-year-old Cecilia Zhang… And all these happened in Toronto alone.
Why did they choose death?
Suicide is perhaps a universal phenomenon. It occurs, I believe, in every culture, for different reasons. Some people do it out of their religious belief. For example in 1997 in San Diego, 39 people, including their religious leader, committed a collective suicide, believing that it was something noble, glorious, an escape to true freedom. Others do it out of political reasons. For example in the Middle East, suicide bombers do it to revenge. For some, it is the depression, the anxiety, hopelessness, and even the fear of death, that cause them to choose suicide. Some take their lives because of the unbearable physical pain or incurable diseases… While all these reasons or causes could be applied to the above mentioned suicides among the Chinese new immigrants, there are other factors that might be very uniquely Chinese, that are decisive for such actions.
According the news, the main reason for Jiang Guobing’s suicide was that he could not find a job, or to be more exact, a job that he could apply his knowledge and expertise to, and that the burden of raising a family with such little income became too unbearable. The media used the same or similar reasons to explain the suicides mentioned above, but there is more to it than that. These causes or reasons are, in Ian Craib’s word, “the surface appearances” (p25, reading file).
Goal of education of the young
For thousands of years, the goal of education in Chinese history has been “to achieve a status to be above everyone; to be superior to all.” Students are frequently told that “From books come houses made of gold; from books come beauties.” “Everything is meaningless; education is above all” has been the maxim for almost all the students. I was talking on the phone with my father in China the other day. As usual, I asked how his grand children were doing at school. He told me the younger one was very smart, the top in the class, while the older one was doing very poorly. In my father’s word, “his brain is made of rocks”, so he was at the bottom of the class. In China, every student is ranked in the class in every school, so as to “glorify” the good and put to shame the bad. Such a sense of honor and shame, superiority and inferiority, is constantly instilled into the minds of the young. From very early age, students in China have to carry this heavy burden of struggling to be the best in their classes. Such lack of a normal childhood would eventually bring psychological problems to some. My 12 year-old nephew has to study, even during summer holidays, 6 hours everyday, in order to “compete”, in order not to bring shame to himself and his family. Chen men, a 20 year-old visa student from China who studied in Toronto, failed his exams and tests many times because of his poor English, faced the possibility of being deported back to China, could not handle such possibility and face the shame and the sense of failure, abducted and eventually killed the 9 year-old girl Cecilia Zhang, with the intention of using her to collect a ransom for the purpose of staying in Canada. According to TsingTao Daily, the most popular Chinese newspaper outside China, visa students from China are facing such pressure and depression, that many of them have to turn to drugs, violence, and suicide. No wonder one of the social workers, Cathy Dandy, urges the local government to offer these students counseling and other helps so that they would not go to the extemes (http://www.chilicity.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=9931
星岛日报).
Saving face
After Jiang Guobing’s death, reporters went to his birthplace to find out what kind person he was. Reporters were told that he was a role model, who received the highest marks for the National Entrance Exam in the whole province, that until the day of his suicide, teachers and parents used him as an example to teach children to follow. It was all the expectations people placed on Jiang that he struggled on, to receive 2 PhDs in North America, to continue to be a role model. Little did they realize it was such expectations that drove him to his death, when, after his repeated failure to find a job that he could “apply his knowledge and expertise to”. Before his suicide, though he was offered a few jobs in China by the most prestigious organizations, returning to China might have seemed to him that he was not able to succeed in Canada, and that would cause him to “lose face”. And losing face equals to losing life for many who are educated and brought up in such a culture.
Too high an expectation of oneself
Besides the high expectations others had of him, that gave him such burden, his own expectations of himself is also a factor. Being so successful all his life, being always the number one in everything, and highly admired and “worshipped” by others, he could no longer get used to being “average”, being just like everybody else. He expected, as he always did in the past, to be successful. When the gap between his expectations and the reality he had to face, that fragile yet very proud mentality finally took over.
Conclusion
Ian Craib says, “To understand an action properly is to understand forms of thinking, relationships between meanings in people’s head.” It seems so right and so easy to assume that the war in Iraq was caused by a dictator; or at the moment the war in Lebanon was caused by Hizbollah; or Jiang’s death was caused by his unemployment…
This is just the ignition, or the match that starts the fire. These are just the “surface appearances”. One needs to look beyond the surface, and dig further, hopefully to the root of things. In this case, the cultural soil in which one is brought up, the mindset, the physical/cultural environment he/she is in. One of the reasons for so many Chinese to decide to immigrate to Canada is that here, the expectations from others and self are not so many, and thus the pressure and burden of life is much lessened. Nearly every child from China loves to be in Canada, for this country allows them to grow and live the way a child should and need to. There is ranking in the class, no constant nagging from parents or teachers to be number one. When you are constantly so aware of your importance, of others’ expectations, and too strong an urge and desire to be better than everyone, and not allowing room for failure, you become fragile. To tackle the problem, we need to have the proper goal for our education, which is not just for our own goodness, but to benefit others, to contribute, to be useful to the public. Such a goal will take one out of his/her own small world, his/her own selfishness, and place him/herself into a wider community, to be part of the world. And to know we are equal, and thus we do not need to be better or superior to anyone.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net